Question by Lisa: do you know any good adoption sites with profiles on the kids?
do you know any good adoption sites with profiles on the kids so i can look at suitable ones then tell my mum ?
Answer by monkeykitty83
Um…. it doesn’t work that way.
If your family wants to adopt (I’m not convinced that’s a good idea in your family’s case, see your other question, but if,) you will need to have a homestudy conducted and then your social worker will help you with the matching process. You don’t just go pick out a kid as if you were going shopping.
Photolistings aren’t really aimed at families in your situation– they’re intended to help children who are having trouble finding a permanent home. The chances of finding a healthy child under five with no problems on a photolisting are literally none. Children don’t make the photolist until their current foster family has declined to adopt, and all other foster-to-adopt families in the state have been offered the opportunity and have also said no. There is a huge demand for little ones, so if that child has not been placed, it’s a sign that they probably need a lot of intensive, experienced therapeutic parenting, not just a bed and someone to love them. Older children may make the list just because of their age, but small kids? They would have significant needs, if they’ve been having enough trouble finding a placement that they ended up on a photolisting. It doesn’t make them bad kids at all, but you should expect a challenge. And you’ve already said your family isn’t prepared for anything challenging.
If your family truly insists on adopting, ask your social worker to help you find a match, and settle in for a long wait. I still think your parents would be better off finding a hobby or donating their time to a charity than adopting in their current circumstances and state of mind. Either way, a photolisting is not the way for your family to go, trust me. Falling in love with a cute face doesn’t prepare you for 18+ years of therapeutic parenting.
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